The case of Greece
The ethnographic research conducted in a small Greek village revealed personal stories that capture the complexity and emotional landscape of arranged marriages.
Elders in a Greek village shared their experiences with arranged marriages. Their experiences provide insight into a tradition that, while sometimes considered ancient, still holds cultural roots and continues to exist. The research team went to Vitina Village to conduct interviews with the local people, asking them about their marriages, how they happened, and whether they were based on love or through a “contract.”
Excerpts from the Interviews
«Η μάνα μου μας έλεγε: Θέλετε αγαπήστε, θέλετε καθίστε. Εγώ μια φορά με προξενιό θα σας παντρέψω.»
“My mother used to tell us: You want love you don’t want to get married at all? I don’t care, I will marry you with arranged marriages”
«Εγώ, μαζί με τη φωτογραφία του έστειλα και γράμμα και o Φίλιππας μου απάντησε, «Είσαι δεκτή. Βλέπω τη φωτογραφία σου και τα γραφόμενά σου. Είσαι η κοπέλα που θέλω».“I sent him a letter along with the photo and Philippas replied, “I accept you. I see your picture and your writing. You are the girl I want.”
«Ένας θείος, αδερφός της μάνας μου μου είπε, «Κοίταξε, εκεί που θα πας στην Αυστραλία, μην περιμένεις να βρεις πολλές ομορφιές. Το παιδί δεν είναι όμορφο, αλλά είναι τίμιο και καλό παιδί, για σπίτι».“An uncle, my mother’s brother, told me, ‘Look, in Australia, don’t expect to find much beauty. The boy is not handsome, but he is an honest and good boy and he will make a good husband “
«Ο πεθερός μου με ρώτησε: «Τι λες κορίτσι μου, πηγαίνεις στην Αυστραλία;» Του λέω κι εγώ: «Πηγαίνω, αλλα πρώτα να ιδώ το παιδί. Έχετε καμιά φωτογραφία;» Όταν μου την έδειξαν, έβαλα τα γέλια.»
“My father-in-law asked me, “What do you say girl, are you going to Australia?” I said to him: “I’m going, but first I have to see the guy. Do you have a picture?” When they showed him to me, I laughed.”
«Ύστερα ο Γιώργος επέμενε να του στείλω μία που να είμαι όρθια και όχι καθιστή….»
“Then, George was insisting to send him a picture that I am standing and not sitting
«Μόλις με είδε ο άντρας μου μου λέει «Εσύ είσαι;», «Εγώ είμαι» του λέω, «Δεν σου αρέσω;»“As soon as my husband saw me he said, “Is that you?”, “It’s me” I said, “Don’t you like me?”
«Δεν μετάνιωσα ποτέ που παντρεύτηκα έτσι, με προξενιό και φωτογραφία.»
«Ο γάμος με προξενιό είναι νομίζω πιο πετυχημένος.»“I never regretted getting married like that, with a “love contract” and a photo.”
“I think an arranged marriage is more successful.”
Και της κόρης μου της είπα, βασισμένη στη δική μου εμπειρία, «Σε παρακαλώ πολύ, αν η καρδιά σου δε χτυπήσει, δεν θέλω να παντρευτείς. Δεν με νοιάζει ποιον θα πάρεις, αρκεί να τον αγαπήσεις’’.And I told my daughter, based on my own experience, “Please, if your heart doesn’t beat, I don’t want you to get married. I don’t care who you marry, as long as you love them.
Marriage in Australia – Interview
The result of the research in the small village in Greece was the creation of a script. The director of the play “For Memory’s Sake” was inspired by this research and, together with actors from Greece, Albania, Bulgaria, and Romania, put on the play at Bellos Theatre in Athens, Greece.
The case of Bulgaria
The Bulgarian team undertook significant work for the ethnographic research, resulting in a book and a documentary
Through extensive interviews and participant observations, the research explores the persistence of arranged marriages, the socio-cultural factors that sustain them, and their impact on individuals and communities. The study also investigates gender roles and norms historically and in contemporary settings, exploring how these practices influence young people and artists in the region. The findings are utilised to inspire artistic productions across various mediums, including theater, music, visual arts, and literature, aiming to foster a deeper understanding and dialogue about marriage, family roles, and cultural heritage in the Balkans.
Excerpts from the Interviews
“I was married off when I was fourteen. I didn’t love him. I gave birth to children and worked, gave birth to children and worked. But he remained alien to my heart. When I got really sick, I would go up to the ceiling, open the hole/skylight and scream to the sky, scream until I felt better. Therefore, if they love each other, they should take each other. Let faith not hinder them.”
“Convince, mother, my father
Not to give me up for marriage, nor to get me engaged
For another year,
Another hot summer, another spring…”
For more detailed information on the research and its outcomes, you can read the full book here:
Based on this research, the Bulgarian team also undertook the task of producing a documentary, filming the interviews. You can take a look at it here:
The case of Romania
the research delved into the portrayal of marriages in Romanian and Balkan cinema. Three researchers—two filmmakers and one film theoretician—conducted an in-depth analysis of films from the region, resulting in six video essays that cover various aspects of marriage depiction, including the contrast between spectacle films and authentic detail, and the influence of social control in romantic versus arranged marriages.
The outcomes of this research were not only academic but also artistic. Inspired by the findings, a collaborative team created a theatre play and a documentary, bringing the stories and cultural insights to a broader audience. This multi-disciplinary approach aimed to foster a deeper understanding and dialogue about marriage traditions, gender roles, and cultural heritage in the Balkans.
The results were published in a book and made available through open-access video essays, ensuring the research’s accessibility and impact. This work highlights the intersection of ethnography and art, providing a comprehensive view of arranged marriages in the contemporary and historical Balkan context.
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcVpOqe7JBE&list=PLpQsTnvvi8qEfeaSNlD_S-EE_izQjQ2JD&index=2&ab_channel=INTERALIA
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMI-aYntHsI&list=PLpQsTnvvi8qEfeaSNlD_S-EE_izQjQ2JD&index=3&ab_channel=INTERALIA
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0Q1D2Fo90M&list=PLpQsTnvvi8qEfeaSNlD_S-EE_izQjQ2JD&index=4&ab_channel=INTERALIA
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI9SAvjtMRY&list=PLpQsTnvvi8qEfeaSNlD_S-EE_izQjQ2JD&index=5&ab_channel=INTERALIA
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUzge6JSDP0&list=PLpQsTnvvi8qEfeaSNlD_S-EE_izQjQ2JD&index=6&ab_channel=INTERALIA
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw2JjstigL0&list=PLpQsTnvvi8qEfeaSNlD_S-EE_izQjQ2JD&index=7&ab_channel=INTERALIA
The case of Albania
Through a series of in-depth interviews, the study reveals that all interviewed women had their marriages arranged by their parents without their consent. The women unanimously expressed a preference for marriages based on love over arranged ones. Despite finding ways to make their marriages work, primarily through earning their husband’s family’s respect, the women regretted not having the opportunity to choose their partners. They also highlighted the significant age gap between themselves and their husbands, typically around ten years. This research provides a nuanced understanding of how cultural traditions surrounding arranged marriages impact women’s lives and their views on marital relationships in contemporary Albania.
Excerpts from the Interviews
1- WOMAN 78 YR OLD
-How do you understand the words ‘arranged marriage’?
An arranged marriage is when two villages…this individual would get to the family head, the father-in-law, mother in law and the future husband
What makes a marriage work?
Ah I think what makes it…I would say the behavior of the man but also the woman’s. The woman’s behavior is even more important because she has to –in my opinion- earn the husband’s family’s respect…even though that is reciprocal both sides need to show respect
The results of the research were turned into a video – poem.